Saturday, September 29, 2007

cancer hurts

Then: My cancer grew to the size of a small pot roast. When they cut into me, they took it out along with two thirds of my colon. The surgeon inserted tubes into my belly and sewed up around them so I oozed pus and icor for weeks. With huge tubes up my nose and in my arms, I stayed drugged up but still feeling the pain. I vomited bile for 4 days straight, so acidic it burned off several layers of skin on my lips, leaving me with a bloody face, crying out in pain every time the vomit came again. I lay in that hospital bed for 6 weeks with no water or food, just a bag. For 6 weeks more after that I'd have a nutrition bag. I went from 220 lbs, to 140 lbs in 3 weeks. My muscles atrophied to the point I couldn't even curl 3 pounds. I stayed in that bed for 3 months. The cancer was completely gone and it would take 3 months out of the hospital to completely heal, but I'm well now. But I will go back one day. I have Crohn's disease.

Now: I am well and happy and back to taking care of my family. And I am once again doing art. I take care of myself and live life fully. There's an old Chinese saying: No disease, short life, one disease, long life. Sometimes it takes something terrible to make one appreciate what they have. I have a talent and I have the love of my family.

20 comments:

froggie is... said...

and, there's another old saying...

that that does not kill us, makes us mike r. baker. :)))

my big brother has crohn's too...not nearly like you had tho...blessings to your happy colon and eat nice mellow food. :)

and your illio...wow. you look very different drawing pain and unhappy things. but it's still amazing to look at. :)

Unknown said...

I can see how different this makes you feel when you talk about it, your drawing REALLY reflects it. Great drawing and I'm glad that you are here. No Mike R. Baker, couldn't imagine that now. Glad your here man!!
Your right its amazing how something so quickly can put things in perspective so quickly. Hmmmm, late hours at work living off double lattes or late evenings at home with the ones we love.
Thanks for sharing the story Mike.

Tracy said...

Wow...the first time I read it I thought, "He's just making up another story like he does sometimes...and it's too believable!" (ie. the juggling sword girl with the big thighs!) I read it again and am still hoping you'll say this is a fictionalized rendering of some "other" real person's battle, not your 1st person account. Very powerful. Very personal. Thanks for sharing :')

JC said...

Wow, I had to read this a couple of times too, just to take it all in. The subject matter is indeed dark and intense, as you illustrated it. I'm very thankful that you are well now... You and your family are so blessed to have one another.

mike r baker said...

Thanks, everyone. Yes, it's my story. Colon is gone. But my life is as normal as it can be now and I have no complaints. My blessings far outweigh my pain. I never talk about what I went through (until now), not because it hurts to remember but because my life is so much bigger than it. It's part of who I am but it does not own me. Life is good. :)

Mim said...

amazing story and powerful drawing. Whew! Cancer has touched many lives and I hesitated to do this challenge and safely went the science route.

Again...amazing.

Debbie Meyer said...

Thanks for sharing your battle, Mike. You are amazing! Although your story was horribly painful, it was inspiring and wonderful to hear that you kicked cancer's butt. My brother-in-law died of pancreatic cancer and my good friend is battling a second round of breast cancer. I am always praying for a day there will be no cancer anywhere ever again. Stay strong and keep creating beautiful art. Love your work!

mike r baker said...

Thanks, Mim. Thank you, Debbie. Mine is a story of pain, but also of joy. How many tens of thousands go through this battle and don't survive? I'm a lucky guy.

Bearuh said...

Had to read this again myself.. Im glad you are ok now mike!!!! Thank you so much for posting this!!!!

valerie walsh said...

WOW! Incredible story and so great that you shared it! It's so important to tell your story so others may learn. My dear friend has Crohn's disease and she has 3 children and it's been quite a struggle. I'm so glad you have the love of a wonderful family and your amazing talent. BTW I lucked out and got one of your ATC's!

isay said...

I admire your courage for sharing us your story. Thanks a lot. You know what I always look at your ID picture drawing because it is smiling and beautiful. There is so much life in it. Please keep being strong. I truly enjoy and love your wonderful artworks.

emilayusof said...

Mike, so sorry to hear about the cancer, glad you made it through You're a strong man and I hope you will not have to pass down that road again. I pray that you will have good health.

JO said...

Mike, your courageous story is so touching. Cancer has touch most of us. My Mom has unoperable lung cancer, the doctors told us she had only a short time, but our prays were heard and she has survived. It's been 10 years since we heard that terrible prediction. I believe in prays and send mine to you and your family for many years of health and happiness, as your artwork gives us so much happiness.

Roberta said...

Your heart is as beautiful as your artwork. Truly a touching story. Amazing.

mike r baker said...

Thanks again, everyone! No sympathy, please. I am happy now. The experience does not weigh on me. Just wanted to point out 2 things I truely feel - when the pain is that great, I believe it's as much of blessing to pass on as it is to survive. And I also believe the ones who suffer most from death are the loved ones left with a void in their lives. But I have health and family and I am rich with life and love. It's all good.

Cancer does not make you a special person. Nor does surviving it. But it can remind you of how precious life is. What makes you a special person is the understanding of just how special everyone else is. And I know all the people I have met here are very very special indeed. :)

Thank you, Bearuh, for choosing my illustration as the weekly winner. It does feel odd, though. It comes from a VERY different place than my usual drawings.

Maryam Tabatabaei said...

Hi Mike,

Sorry I haven't been around. I read your story and had to read it again and again to actually believe it. You are such a strong person and it really is true that sometimes a horrible experience is needed to bring us back to "life"....
Take care and congrats on winning this week's challenge. You deserved it :)

livia said...

i have tears in my eyes but there are tears of joy because you're ok now.
I wish you never to go trough something like that again.

mike r baker said...

Wow! I love you all! :)

Zari said...

i'm touched! but i'm so glad to know you're such a strong man!...that sees the blessings after all that pain!...i wish you many, many, many happy years full of art and family!
hugs and kisses!

studio lolo said...

And you have your life and you have your FANS!! Sorry for your long ordeal Mike. I too, am a cancer survivor. You're right, it doesn't make us special. Lucky, yes. I don't look at a single blade of grass they way I did before cancer. I've become a more compassionate person. I say 2 prayers a day..."Thank you" in the morning when I turn to the ocean. And at bedtime I say "Thank you for another day." Simple yes, but it's all we need to say.
I'm glad you're with us still :)